Fan Mail Wednesday #50

Sometimes I get packages of letters from a class or school. Dozens of letters. I thought I’d cull some lines from one such package, sent by Ellen Schumer at The Red Mill School. Usually in this “fan mail” series, I try to give complete, thoughtful, respectful answers to serious questions.

Not today.

You are so  funny. Last night I was wondering what it would be like eating on a door. I asked my mom if she could go out and buy a door, but unfortunately she said no. — Ryan.

Moms can be so heartless. You should have asked Dad.

Some of my favorite things to write about are animals that are canivores. I enjoy reading about carnivores too. I think I like carnivores because of their sharp fangs. — Troy

I’m thinking you’re not a big salad guy.

The Jigsaw Jones books that you write are hularias. I love drawing pictures too! The story about a door as a table was too funny! I could barely hold my insides in. I am thinking of being an author when I grow up. — Rachel

That’s why on school visits I always bring a mop.

You are a great writer Mr. Preller. I hope you have fun writing books. — Lucky

Thanks!

I loved it when you were really funny. — Nadaya.

The other times, not so much?

When you read Mighty Casey you cracked me up. When the kid went pee in the outfield that was hysterical. — Damon

Note to self: Add more scenes of public urination to books. Readers seem to love it.

When you were a kid were you picked on? — Aidan

No. But I saw it sometimes and I remember it all very clearly, the faces, the fear, and the confused feeling of standing there, hands at my sides, doing nothing, wondering what to do.

I hate carrots. I know they are healthy but I don’t like them that much. I eat carrots but not that much! — Nicole

You are going blind. Eat those carrots!!!

You are very funny because you stole your brother’s homework. Could you write more than 300 pages? — Edward

In a row?

I hope you come back really really soon. — Justin

Thank you. It’s probably best if your school brings in a different author or illustrator. Change is good. But I’ll always remember Red Mill.

I read all of your Jigsaw Jones books. I love  all of them. You are funny. I love Six Innings. I love the way you write your books. — Ashley

Woud your parents mind if I adopted you? Or rented you out for a weekend or something?

—–

POSTSCRIPT ABOUT BAFFLING DOOR REFERENCES: On visits, I sometimes tell a brief story about the kitchen table we had when I was growing up. Yes, it was a door.

One comment

  1. Roberta Butterfield says:

    Those made me laugh so hard I’m crying – I could barely hold my insides in.

    Love the blog. Found it while researching the possibility of a school visit to Bell Top.

    I also love your books, and like another parent quoted on your site, I have read on when the kids went to bed. Good stuff.

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