Archive for Bullying

Fan Mail Wednesday #96

Dear Mr. Preller,
My son bought your Along Came Spider book at the school bookfair. At first I thought he chose it for the cover art, but he assured me he had read the back and the story sounded appealing. As a habit I try to read the books my children select. My son is just nearly on the autism spectrum -- so again, as a habit I try  to read books my children are interested in when I am unfamiliar with the  story.  First, I read it in one sitting and it nearly made me weep . . . as a  parent of a "Trey" and as a parent volunteer in our elementary school.  I  felt the story was just so well thought out and really hit the areas that a lot  of 9-11 year old boys have trouble with.  (Forgive me only having boys I'm  not sure how parents with daughters would feel.) I have recommended your book to  our school principal and will be talking to the school social worker about the  possibility of using it for a directed reading 'book club' for small group  instruction and Social Development curriculum.

Do you have discussion points available for your books if they were to be used as a book club book? Perhaps, one that you have already completed you could maybe email? I would like to lend our copy to the school social worker with some suggested book club discussion points. Our school also has an active social development committee and with all that goes on in the world of kids to navigate through books like Along Came Spider might be a helpful way to engage them in some dialogue both with their peers and their own feelings through self-dialogue as part of this curriculum.
I look forward to reading more of your materials.
Thanks again so much for taking the time to get back to me.
Lianne

I replied:

Lianne,

Thanks for your note. Your approval really means a lot, coming from someone with your personal experience.

Spider was named 100 Best Books for Reading and Sharing by the New York Public Library Association in 2008. I wrote a follow-up book, Justin Fisher Declares War!, that can be considered a very loose sequel. It takes place in the same school, Spiro Agnew Elementary, and some characters recur in minor roles (Trey, Spider, Ms. Lobel), though the emphasis is on several new characters in a different fifth-grade classroom. In addition, my book Bystander, set in a middle school environment, also focuses on similar issues of exclusion, bullying, and tolerance.

I am impressed by your commitment to social development in the school. Obviously, it’s essential to build a community of learners, with tolerance and respect as cornerstones to every classroom. I’ve heard from teachers who have used Spider as a read-aloud, for the reasons you pointed out: it can serve as a good conversation-starter.

It’s interesting that you asked about discussion points. Nothing like that has been formalized. However, I recently set up a Skype account and I’m interested in exploring those possibilities. If you’d be willing to work with a complete novice, we could arrange for a free 15-minute question-and-answer chat where we can talk about the talk. Obviously, we’d need to work out some details. Author Skyping has become all the rage lately, and I’ve been looking for a way that works for me. Generally, authors charge a fee ($100-$200), request that books are offered for sale, and that the gathered group is prepared with thoughtful questions.

What do you think?

You would be my guinnea pig!

JP

An early, rejected version of the cover,

which I still much prefer.

POSTSCRIPT: Lianne, and other curious readers, might be interested in this book, by Kathryn Erskine. Though Aspergers is much more likely to occur in boys, this book looks at it from a girl’s point of view. I own it, but haven’t tackled it yet. It’s on the stack, or the pile, or the list, and I’m sure that all readers can relate.

Stand UP!

I’m back from visiting some schools down in Westchester, NY. Great time, loved it. When my kids were younger, I didn’t like leaving the house — and overnight trips just weren’t feasible, so I stayed local. But now I find that I’m not needed. Seriously. When I asked Maggie if she missed me, she grumbled, “Dad, I didn’t see you for two weeks this summer.”

I think that’s her special way of saying she loves me terrifically.

Anyway, I’m glad to be back at my desk. A lot of things to do, all of them good. I’ve got a manuscript to revise — and yes, I finally have a title for “the untitled YA” I’ve been working on all year, it will be called Before You Go — and photos for my FATHERS READ project to organize.

Please, please, please send photos to me of men reading. It’s that simple. We need to put those images out into the world.

A while back I blogged about a school in Fairhaven that featured Bystander for a “one book, one school” event. I recently received a photo from one of the event’s organizers of two 6th-graders, Amelia and Linda, who worked cooperatively on a poster and, ta-da!, won a school-wide contest. Pretty great, don’t you think?

I especially love those words at the bottom: Stand UP!

“It Gets Better”

This amazing speech, given by Texas Councilman Joel Burns, has been making the rounds on Facebook and other places. I believe it was first featured here, on The Huffington Post.

Maybe you’ve already seen it, and if so I know you’ll forgive me for sharing old news. But I’ve posted it here for anyone who might have missed it or passed it by. If you are like me, perhaps you’ve felt that nearly thirteen minutes is far too long to spend watching a video. Perhaps you felt that you’d get around to it another time, or that you already have a pretty good idea about what he says. That you are busy and there’s so much to do in the headlong forward push of days. And all I can say is, give yourself those thirteen minutes.

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

Don’t Look! We’re Celebrating Banned Books Today

“I believe that censorship grows out of fear, and because fear is contagious, some parents are easily swayed. Book banning satisfies their need to feel in control of their children’s lives. This fear is often disguised as moral outrage. They want to believe that if their children don’t read about it, their children won’t know about it. And if they don’t know about it, it won’t happen.” — Judy Blume.

We are celebrating banned books at the Guilderland Public Library tonight (Wednesday, 9/29). Author Lauren Myracle will be there via Skype visit, and many more local authors will attend in support of the cause. I have been granted five minutes to read anything, and it’s an impossible decision. So given the format, and the obvious choices — Huckleberry, Mockingbird, Fahrenheit, Catcher, etc. — I decided to go with Sendak’s In the Night Kitchen. It’s such a fun book to read aloud.

And besides, audiences always love the gratuitous nudity!

Published in 1970, In the Night Kitchen earned many awards, including Caldecott Honor Book. However, it has been often challenged in schools and librarians, usually for its depiction of a butt-naked Mickey, without any “offensive” parts lopped off. The book ranked #21 on a list compiled by the American Library Association of “100 Most Frequently Challenged Books: 1990-1999).”

As a cool aside, I learned today that In the Night Kitchen was, in part, an homage to illustrator Windsor McCay’s “Little Nemo” comics. This blog post is fun, brief, visual, and worth reading.

Here’s a few more of my favorite quotes on the subject book banning:

“A word to the unwise. Torch every book. Char every page. Burn every word to ash. Ideas are incombustible. And therein lies your real fear.” — Ellen Hopkins.

“A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.” — Laurence Peter.

“All censorships exist to prevent anyone from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions. All progress is initiated by challenging current conceptions, and executed by supplanting existing institutions. Consequently the first condition of progress is the removal of censorship.” — George Bernard Shaw.

“To reject the word is to reject the human search.” — Max Lerner.

“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them.” — Joseph Brodsky.

“Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there.” — Clare Booth Luce.

“We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.” — John F. Kennedy.

And best of all . . .

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”— Amendment I, Bill of Rights, United States Constitution.

Essential Reading: “On Facebook, you can be as mean as you want.”

I realize not everyone receives The New York Times. Or if you’re like me, sometimes you don’t get around to reading it thoroughly. So I refer readers to this long, thoughtful, well-researched article from June 27, 2010. It explores the growing phenomenon of cyberbullying, it’s impact on middle school students, and the overall helplessness of school officials to address it fully. The writer, Jan Hoffman, does an excellent job in painting a devastating portrait of how texting and social network sites have changed the landscape of bullying in today’s world.

It’s not easy being a kid today.

For the full article, click here: “Online Bullies Pull Schools Into the Fray.” Here’s the opening few paragraphs of the lengthy article:

The girl’s parents, wild with outrage and fear, showed the principal the text messages: a dozen shocking, sexually explicit threats, sent to their daughter the previous Saturday night from the cellphone of a 12-year-old boy. Both children were sixth graders at Benjamin Franklin Middle School in Ridgewood, N.J.

Punish him, insisted the parents.

“I said, ‘This occurred out of school, on a weekend,’ ” recalled the principal, Tony Orsini. “We can’t discipline him.”

Suzanne DeChillo/The New York Times

Later in the same article, a guidance counselor describes one aspect of middle school misery:

Meredith Wearley, Benjamin Franklin’s seventh-grade guidance counselor, was overwhelmed this spring by dramas created on the Web: The text spats that zapped new best friendships; secrets told in confidence, then broadcast on Facebook; bullied girls and boys, retaliating online.

“In seventh grade, the girls are trying to figure out where they fit in,” Mrs. Wearley said. “They have found friends but they keep regrouping. And the technology makes it harder for them to understand what’s a real friendship.”

Because students prefer to use their phones for texting rather than talking, Mrs. Wearley added, they often miss cues about tone of voice. Misunderstandings proliferate: a crass joke can read as a withering attack; did that text have a buried subtext?

The girls come into her office, depressed, weeping, astonished, betrayed.

“A girl will get mad because her friend was friends with another girl,” Mrs. Wearley said.

They show Mrs. Wearley reams of texts, the nastiness accelerating precipitously. “I’ve had to bring down five girls to my office to sort things out,” she said. “It’s middle school.”

Recently, between classes, several eighth-grade girls from Benjamin Franklin reflected about their cyberdramas:

“We had so many fights in seventh grade,” one girl said. “None of them were face-to-face. We were too afraid. Besides, it’s easier to say ‘sorry’ over a text.”

Another concurred. “It’s easier to fight online, because you feel more brave and in control,” she said. “On Facebook, you can be as mean as you want.”