Things People Hate: A Happy Recap

 

I’m going to cross some kind of line with this post, like Voyager pushing past our solar system, beyond the heliopause, into interstellar dark. That’s right, I’m about to do the unforgivable: discuss a recent thread on my Facebook feed.

Is that a sign my world has gotten too small? That I need to get out more?

Oh yes, I need to get out more.

I am active on Facebook. Usually a post a day, a movie I loved, a book I recommend, some kind of pass-along, something. I try not to complain too much about American politics, though that’s hard. The other day I stumbled upon an update that got a huge response (in my corner of the interwebs, anyway).

I innocently wrote:

Complete the sentence in comments. Things I absolutely abhor that other people seem to like . . .

Last I looked, I had received 240+ responses.

People couldn’t wait to fill in the blankety-blank.

So much hate!

Name any movie or a celebrity or a band, and there’s somebody out there who loathes it/them. No one seems immune, not Will Farrell or Harry Potter or even Alexa.

People have very specific food dislikes. And all I can say is: Poor coconut! And somebody, please, give peas a chance! True fact: Name a food you hate, mint ice cream for example, and six people will instantly nod and say, “Hell to the Yes!”

For pure entertainment value, and creativity, and good old-fashioned weirdness, I most enjoyed when friends named very specific things they hated. (Some of these people have issues.)

A few of my favorites culled from the list:

  • Crocs
  • TVs in public spaces
  • Phones during meals
  • Alexa
  • Auto-tune
  • The internet
  • Crowds
  • Duvet covers
  • Costume parties
  • Rustic reclaimed signs
  • Supermarkets
  • Families
  • Comments
  • Up talk
  • Thoughts and prayers
  • Very muscular builds
  • Speed boats
  • Pugs
  • Umbrellas
  • California wine culture
  • People who bring their dogs everywhere
  • Alternate facts
  • Wire hangers
  • Birds
  • Gender Reveal Events
  • Leaf blowers
  • Plastic blow-up lawn decorations

 

The obvious lesson is that if you get enough people to respond, we can carpet the entire world with hate. Fruit salad and green vegetables and chocolate? I know people who hate ’em all!

Oh, you think it might be nice to put on some music? Really? That’s dangerous turf. Because somebody here is going to hate it. And hate it passionately — even Jimmy Buffett.

Or maybe especially Jimmy Buffett.

The most frequently recurring winners, er, losers, were: Donald Trump, Coconut, U2, the NFL, the Kardashians, Disney, and Gender Reveal Events.

And lastly, from a curmudgeonly pal across the pond . . . “just *@#%& everything OK!!???”

HOWEVER, to be fair, no one mentioned Tom Petty, because everyone likes Tom Petty.

And fuzzy little baby bunnies.

We’ll tolerate them, too.

What do you hate?

 

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