Poetry Friday (Thursday Edition): Kristen Wiig reads from “the early poems” of Suzanne Somers

I’m loving Poetry Friday. I hope the head honchos let me into the club — I so need to be included in “the roundup.” I actually have a pretty strong collection of slender volumes of verse from my days in NYC when I was passionate about poverty poetry. People like Jack Spicer, Hilda Doolittle, Charles Olson, Denise Levertov, Wallace Stevens, William Carlos Williams, Robert Creeley, Ken Irby and many, many more.

But for today, well, today is special.

Today you get the underrated genius of Suzanne Somers, as read by Kristin Wiig of Saturday Night Live.

A thighmaster . . . and a poet!

Are you ready to celebrate Poetry Friday? Can you think of anything better?

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I soooo need this book. My favorite is the second poem, “Extra Love,” which begins at the 2:30 mark. Don’t miss it.

Looking at the book cover, and that title, I suddenly have this crazy idea that it — the book cover — should get married to this album cover:

Remember that one? Peter Frampton’s “I’m In You.” Clearly they belong together. Peas in a pod.

Yuck. I’ve been slimed.

Here’s a customer review that I found on Amazon of Touch Me: The Poems of Suzanne Somers:

Working at a bookstore back in the late 80s, we had a copy of this book in stock. The other booksellers and I would sometimes take it down from the shelf and read aloud one of Suzanne’s terrible poems… and double over with laughter! So bad, they’re very very funny. When it came time to return it to the publisher as unsold, my co-workers and I refused to part with it. Another time, a woman overheard one of our readings, thought the poems were as hysterical as we did, and wanted to buy our store’s only copy. We talked her out of it; we liked keeping the slim volume on the shelf, where we could take it down whenever we needed a laugh. Eventually, I moved on. Reminded of this book recently, I found it through Amazon’s used book services and now have a copy of my own. I post quotes from it on my FaceBook page, giving Suzanne full credit of course, and leave some of my friends begging for more. Get it; you won’t regret it. Favorites include “I Wore My Green Sweater Today,” “Organic Girl,” and “Sometimes I Want to Be a Little Girl.”

Okay, okay, settle down folks. I know you need more, more, more. Here’s “Organic Girl” by poet Suzanne Somers:

Organic girl dropped by last night

For nothing in particular

Except to tell me again how beautiful and serene she feels

On uncooked vegetables and wheat germ fortified by bean sprouts–

Mixed with yeast and egg whites on really big days–

She not only meditates regularly, but looks at me like I should

And lectures me about meat and ice cream

And other aggressive foods I shouldn’t eat.


  1. Shannon says:

    Wow. Just . . . wow. I love it!

  2. MarkD says:

    Hee hee hee… that was MY Amazon review! I was the former bookseller who wrote that! Ha ha ha!!

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