Here’s a good one that somehow found its way to my home after being addressed to my ex-agent from about eight years ago. My thanks to the people at Writer’s House for re-directing this missive my way.
After some deliberation, I decided to present this particular note with uncorrected spelling and grammar, since that’s part of the charm. You’ll have to imagine the handwriting.
Dear James Preller
Hi I am a amircan from Pennsylvania. My Name is Joseph. I am pleased to be writing you. I enJoyed the NbA book of opposots, but not so much the case of the perfict prank. I found out you had a son named Alan preller, and a wife named Ann preller, I also found out you had a children’s book of Awards. I’d like to meet you some day.
* * * * *
Joseph, thanks for writing. I’m glad you enjoyed The NBA Book of Opposites. It was a lot of fun to work on that book, since we had to find cool photographs to illustrate different concepts such as “quiet” and “loud,” “happy” and “sad,” “over” and “under,” and so on. With one word on each page, I’m pretty certain that it’s the shortest book I ever wrote.
It’s too bad you didn’t care for Jigsaw Jones #23: The Case of the Perfect Prank. But I appreciate that you gave it a chance!
Just to clear up some confusion: My father’s name was Alan. My mother’s name is Ann. My kids are named Nick, Gavin, and Maggie. My wife’s name is Lisa. My dog’s name is Daisy. And, alas, I don’t know ANYTHING about a book of awards. Maybe I won an award but nobody ever told me? That would be sort of nice and rotten at the same time. I’ll keep my fingers crossed anyway (but not while typing).
Thanks again, and I hope to meet you, too!