Tag Archive for James Preller’s writing process

Stories Behind the Story: The Case of the Ghostwriter

In what I hope will be a recurring feature on an irregular schedule, I thought I’d try to convey some of the background to each of my Jigsaw Jones titles.

And in no particular order.

The Case of the Ghostwriter has a lot of cool little things in it that most readers might miss.

I dedicated this book to Frank Hodge, a near-celebrity local bookseller on Lark Street in Albany, who is known and beloved by many area teachers and librarians. He’s one of Albany’s living treasures. When I moved to the area from Brooklyn, in 1990, Frank’s store, Hodge-Podge Books, was right around the corner. Of course, I stopped in and we became friends. I actually put Frank in this story: a guy named Frank owns a store called Hedgehog Books. I even included his cat, Crisis. Jigsaw and Mila visit Frank’s store in the hopes of tracking down a mysterious author.

Chapter Eight begins:

Hedgehog Books was a cozy little store. Our parents had been taking Mila and me since we were little. My mom said that Frank’s favorite thing was to bring books and kids together.

In the story, there’s a series of popular books — The Creep Show series — loosely modeled on R.L. Stine’s “Goosebumps.” Mila has been eating them up, reading titles such as Green Wet Slime and Teenage Zombie from Mars. The author’s name on the cover, a pen name, is R.V. King. (Ho-ho.) There’s a rumor that he’s coming to visit room 201 for the “Author’s Tea.” Who can the Mystery Author be? I bet you can guess.

For me, the part I’m proudest of in this book is Chapter Seven, “My Middle Name,” a tribute to my oldest brother, Neal, who passed away in 1993, a few months after my first son, Nicholas, was born.

Ms. Gleason has the students reading family stories in class, Abuela by Arthur Dorros and The Keeping Quilt by Patricia Pollaco. The students, including Jigsaw and Mila, are asked to write their own family stories.

To research his family stories, Jigsaw interrupts his parents while they are playing chess. “Now’s not a good time,” his father replies. “I’m trying to destroy your dear mother.” (I always liked that line.)

At bed that night, Jigsaw and his father have a heart to heart. Mr. Jones tells Jigsaw about his middle name, Andrew, who was Jigsaw’s uncle. Now this part is totally true, because my son’s middle name is Neal, after his uncle.

“And he died,” I said.

“Yes,” he said. “Andrew died.” I heard the air leave my father’s lips. The sound of a deep sigh.

I put my head on his shoulder. “Why did you name me after him?”

They talk some more:

That’s when I noticed it. The water in his eyes. A single tear, then another, slid down his cheek. My father was crying. I’d never seen him cry before. It made me nervous.

“Don’t be sad, Dad.” I hugged him with both arms, tight.

He wiped the tears away with the back of his sleeve.

He sniffed hard and smiled.

“I’m not sad, Jigsaw,” he said. “It’s just that I remember little things that happened. Little things Andrew said or did. And I’ll always miss him.”

“Can you tell me?” I asked. “About the little things?”

My father checked his watch. “Not tonight, son. It’s late already. But I will tomorrow, promise.”

“Good night, Dad,” I said. “I’m sorry you’re sad.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said. “That’s life, I guess. Sometimes we lose the good ones. Good night, Theodore Andrew Jones. Sleep tight.”

Then he shut the door.

I’d never attempt to read that chapter aloud to a group. I can never read it  without remembering, without crying. I guess in that scene, I’m Jigsaw’s dad — and my son, Nicholas Neal Preller, stands in for Jigsaw, trying to learn about an uncle, my brother, whom he never had the chance to meet.

Bystander: Revising Galleys

I’ve been messing with the “second pass” galleys for Bystander (Fall, 2009). These last corrections are minor, twenty pages can go by untouched, and these last changes won’t be reflected in the ARCs (Advanced Reader Copies) that go around to reviewers, etc.

So I warmed up my scanner — a new toy for me — and decided to give a blow-by-blow of a minor revision through four separate stages. Of course, there were many more stages of doubt and second-guessing (I mean: revision!) that happened before I sent the book out. To me, it’s an uncountable process.

Part of me thinks: No one cares, this is all too self-obsessed. But the other part of me loves process, the journey, and thinks that maybe somebody else does too. If  you think this is a worthwhile thing for me to do with this blog, let me know.

FROM THE FIRST DRAFT that went to Feiwel and Friends editor, Liz Szabla:

SECOND DRAFT. You’ll note two changes: 1) I felt that the prairie dog reference, though okay for a kid from South Dakota, was wrong for Eric, wrong for Long Island. I felt that he wouldn’t think to make that comparision. 2) I cleaned up that last sentence, he’s no longer “racing,” because that was the wrong word; there’s now the specific “gap in the fence”; and overall it’s just a little leaner and better, IMO.

FIRST-PASS GALLEYS. Here we see the manuscript set into type. I still disliked the sentence, “. . . those Meercats on TV.” Somewhere in there I changed it from “TV” to “Animal Planet,” went singular rather than plural. But a new concern entered, or more likely I began to listen to an old concern: Was the image too contemporary, ephemeral. Would it date the book? “Meerkat Manor” wasn’t going to last on TV forever. Maybe in five, ten years people won’t be as conscious of meerkats as they seem to be now. And like the prairie dog image, even a meerkat simile seemed too much of a reach. You’ll see below my hasty script, where I’m fooling around with more localized comparisons: “a rabbit in the field, hawks in the sky, snakes in the grass.” Searching for something that might work.

SECOND-PASS GALLEYS. I spoke with Liz on the phone. What you see below is the scribblings I made before I spoke with Liz, and then the result of that conversation. First, I was still hating that sentence: “He was nervous, like a meerkat on Animal Planet.” I tried to come up with some other images, and scribbled below: “and watchful, like a small animal in dangerous woods.” That wasn’t a proposed sentence so much as the kind of image I was grasping for, a frightened chipmunk sort of thing. Not working.

At that point, I solved it the way so many of these things are solved. Because often when a sentence gives you this much trouble, it’s a sign that maybe it should go away completely. I crossed it out and wrote “NO” on the side of the page. On the phone, Liz and I looked at it and agreed. We already saw he was “tensed,” saw that he was watchful. I didn’t need a simile; what I needed was to keep this boy on the run — because the bad guys are coming. We lose the distracting simile, which I never got right, and move on to the next sentence: “Then he took off without a word.” By cutting we didn’t actually lose anything; and we gained pace, forward movement.

FINAL NOTE: You may notice that I flip-flopped on that last line, “was long gone,” or the simpler alternate, “was gone.” Liz and I both thought about it, talked about it, that extra word “long,” and decided to reinstate it.

And that’s one glimpse into a late stage of the revision process.

NOW, ABOUT THE KETCHUP:

This is a reference I’m not sure many will get, but it’s something that I had to put into the book. To me, no discussion of bullying, regardless of how seemingly benign the form, can take place without a recognition of Columbine as an extreme result. It’s always there, that vision of what could happen if good people — the bystanders — don’t act. The two shooters in that massacre, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, were originally victims of bullying. This is a common scenario, “the bullied bully,” widely recongized in the literature. So many targets go on to target someone else in a cycle of hurt and intimidation. Anyway, Harris and Klebold were once severely humiliated when they were splattered with ketchup packets. When I came across that while researching Bystander, I knew I wanted to use it  somehow — so my book opens immediately after it happens to another boy, and the book’s protaginst, Eric Hayes, sees him running, running. Because even though my book does not go the extremes of Columbine, it’s a haunting scenario that remains forever present, like a ghost in the room, a reminder and a lesson we dare not forget.

Jigsaw Jones Edits, Warts and All

Last Friday I handed in the first draft of Jigsaw Jones: The Case of the Skeleton’s Secret. In series publishing, things move quickly. Because the manuscript ran a little long — and because I’m far from perfect — my editor, Matt Ringler, returned the first draft with some comments, suggestions, and cuts. This is all normal operating procedure. My job was to then respond to Matt’s editorial comments and send a revised manuscript to him, which I have already done. None of this is genius; just basic revision. And, I should add, with more tweaks to come down the road.

Here are four brief sections, showing Matt’s suggested cuts in red, and my changes in green, which were made on top of Matt’s. I want to be honest here, show my mistakes, flubs, blunders, and weak sentences. Possibly this is instructive for any teacher working on writing in the classroom. Hopefully this post demonstrates the importance of a strong editor, the value of revision, and how much we need all the help we can get! Cutting is almost always a good thing.

1

ORIGINAL VERSION w/ EDITS:

Mila pulled on the strands of her long black hair. She was a good listener. That made her a good detective – and a good friend.

I continued, “Everybody has their party at the Putt-Putt Emporium,” I said. “Everybody — except for me.” Laser Tag rocks. Plus get soda and pizza!”

“Did you try whining?” Mila suggested.

“Of course,” I said. “I complained for a week.”

“How about begging?”

“That only made things worse,” I said.

“Worse?” Mila echoed.

“Yeah, my dad wanted to strangle me at one point,” I said. “And he’s not really the strangling type.”

“Good thing.”

“Yeah, I guess,” I said.

“But you’ll still celebrate your birthday, right?” Mila said.

“Sure, we’ll have cake and presents,” I said. “I’ll pick my favorite dinner. But let’s face it, Mila. Laser Tag would have been way cooler.”

Mila shrugged. “I’d rather have a sleepover, watch a DVD, and paint my toenails.”

* * * * *

REVISED VERSION:

Mila was a good listener. That made her a good detective – and a good friend.

“Everybody has their party at the Putt-Putt Emporium,” I said. “Everybody – except for me.”

“But you’ll still celebrate your birthday, right?” Mila said.

“Sure, we’ll have cake and presents,” I said. “I’ll pick my favorite dinner. But let’s face it, Mila. Laser Tag would have been way cooler.”

Mila shrugged. “I’d rather have a sleepover, watch a DVD, and paint my toenails.”

2

ORIGINAL VERSION w/ EDITS:

Reginald walked down a long hallway. We tagged along behind, our stocking feet sliding on the cool tile floor. We made two lefts and a right at an old grandfather clock. As we walked, I thought about Reginald. Sure, he was the richest kid I’d ever met. Spoiled, too. He had everything a kid could want. And maybe he did eat too many cucumber sandwiches. But he was always a good friend. Mila thought he was lonely. She Mila was probably may have been right. She often was.

Reginald stopped before a white door. He pressed the tips of his fingers together. “I’m awfully glad to see you two. My Auntie Griselda is visiting from La Jolla. She’s very proper. I have to be on my best behavior. It can be a little . . .” His voice trailed off.

“Boring?” Mila suggested.

“Indeed, yes, rather,” Reginald confessed.

* * * * *

REVISED VERSION:

Reginald walked down a long hallway. We tagged along behind, our stocking feet sliding on the tile floor. We made two lefts and a right at an old grandfather clock. As we walked, I thought about Reginald. Sure, he was the richest kid I’d ever met. And maybe he did eat too many cucumber sandwiches. But he was a friend. Mila thought he was lonely. She may have been right.

Reginald stopped before a white door. “I’m awfully glad to see you two. My Auntie Griselda is visiting from La Jolla. She’s very proper. I have to be on my best behavior. It can be a little . . .” His voice trailed off.

“Boring?” Mila suggested.

“Indeed, yes, rather,” Reginald confessed.

3

NOTE: In this scene, Jigsaw is at Reginald Pinkerton Armitage’s house, where Jigsaw just borrowed a “Spy Ear,” a listening device that magnifies sound. Faithful blog readers might recall my whimsical desire to have someone — anyone — fart in a Jigsaw Jones book. Even when I dreamed of it, and wrote it, I knew it wasn’t right for Jigsaw. But still: I had to get it out of my system.

On our return trip to the front door, I switched on the Magnifying Spy Ear to see if it really worked. Thump, thump, thump. The sound of our stocking feeet pounded on the floor like small explosions. Then I heard a faint popping sound. Like this: poof.

“Um, Reg?” I asked. “Did you just . . . toot?”

“Certainly not!” he protested. “Armitages don’t, as you say, toot..”

“You don’t? Never, ever?” I asked.

Reginald stood ramrod straight. ““It’s not something an Armitage does.”

“Nobody in your family, huh?” I said. “That’s amazing.”

Poof.

There it was again. And this time, the sound was loud and clear. Even Mila heard it – without the Magnifying Ear.

Reggie fumbled with his eyeglasses. He dropped them to floor, picked them up again. His face turned a deep crimson. (That’s a ten-dollar word for red.)

I titled my head, waiting.

“Not so bad, is it?” I asked.Reginald’s eyes widened. He grinned. “I liked it!”

Poof, poof, poof.

“Okaaaaay, Reg, let’s not get carried away. It sounds like we’re in a shooting gallery at the carnival.”

Mila snickered, and so did Reginald.

“A carnival, that’s rich,” Reginald said. “Please excuse my manners. But it does feel rather good, doesn’t it?”

“I daresay,” I said with a smile.

* * * * *

REVISED VERSION:

On our return trip to the front door, I switched on the Spy Ear to see if it really worked.

[NOTE: Ha– so much for Little Toot! But I enjoyed writing it, even though I knew it was destined for the scrap heap. At this point, we added a brief exchange where Jigsaw overhears a conversation between the butler and Gus the driver.]

4

ORIGINAL VERSION:

When I need thinking time, I usually pull out a new jigsaw puzzle. Unfortunately, I didn’t have new ones. I did a couple of easy 100-piece puzzles, but my heart wasn’t into it. As a detective, I liked to take action. Do stuff. Make things happen. But there wasn’t much I could do. I had to sit back and wait for the riddler to make a mistake.

* * * * *

REVISED VERSION:

As a detective, I liked to take action. Make things happen. But there wasn’t much I could do. I had to sit back and wait for the riddler to make a mistake.

The Writing Process: Humble Beginnings

Now that school is here, I hope to write some pieces that more directly speak to students who might be interested in writing. I previously mentioned a new book I’m thinking about, as opposed to, um, actually working on, though I suppose they are one and the same. You can’t exactly write without thinking (and believe me, I’ve tried, doesn’t work).

So, anyway. I have an idea for a character who gets into trouble at school. The book is about this kid, and, in part, the surprising relationship he builds with the school principal. But how and why does this boy get into trouble? What does he do? What kind of hilarious escapades can I conjure? Then one notion hit me over the weekend: He smuggles a goldfish into school!

I love that idea. I can WORK with that idea. That is: There are possibilities that appeal to my (bent, twisted) sensibilities. So then begins the series of questions: How does he do it? Why? What goes wrong (because something must go wrong)? I’ve already daydreamed over a host of options — involving a thermos, soup broth, and a swallowed goldfish — but I know I’m not there yet. I’ve got to learn more about tropical fish, and probably make a visit to my local fish store (Davey Jones’ Locker on Delaware Avenue). Maybe they’ve got some ideas; research like that always helps, talking to experts always helps.

Yet I did “hear” a line of dialogue, a principal bemoaning something like, “Because of your actions today, an innocent goldfish is dead.”

I wonder if any of that will make it into the book? I wonder if this kid has got a name?