Archive for April 13, 2010

Six Critical Life Messages in 90 Seconds: Barbara Coloroso

“You’re listened to, you’re cared for, and you’re very important to me — children need to hear that in lots of different ways every day.” Barbara Coloroso.

In previous blog entries, I praised this book by Barbara Coloroso . . .

. . . a title that has informed, enlightened, and guided my own work as a writer, coach, and father.

She’s awesome, that’s all there is to it.

I came across this short video this morning. In less than 90 seconds, Barbara delivers a message that every teacher and parent needs to hear and remember — so that the children in our world hear those same things from us.

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Fan Mail Wednesday #84 (Bully Edition)

Usually, I use this recurring feature to respond to letters from young readers. But at the risk of  self-aggrandizement, I thought I’d share this topical letter I received last week:

James-

I just finished reading your newest book last week. As a middle school library media specialist I now feel that everyone in the school should read this book. I think it is an amazing account of what happens here at school everyday. We are all aware of it and trying our best to change it but things don’t happen overnight.

We have been talking about changing the way that we run our summer reading program here at the middle school and have been trying to find an “all school read.” I know that this is the book I would choose. I had a few questions that I thought I might ask. When is this book due out in paperback? Do you have a date or is that something that your publisher decides? If we are trying to fund this program it would be better to know how much to ask for from our donors.

Also, I read your blog about school visits, which I agree with completely. We are trying to get the local police and sheriff’s office involved with this reading program and have assemblies before the end of the school year. I do think that it is great for students to sometimes actually meet the author of the books that they have read and enjoyed. We are planning many events around the book and trying to get the community involved. Would you be interested in all in visiting in the fall of this year once school starts?

We know the issues of bullying are everywhere but we feel that it is important to make it a priority here in our community. We feel that if we have all the students read your book, discuss it and have their parents, friends and family involved then we can try to make some changes.

Please let me know what you think, and THANK YOU for such an amazing book.

Sincerely,

Ann
Library Media Specialist

I replied:

Dear Ann,

Believe me, there is no pleasure in having written a topical book such as Bystander. I wish these things weren’t so often in the news or in the lives of our children. But if these heartbreaking recent events are what it takes for people to get focused and motivated, then at least something positive may come from it.

In my readings and conversations with educators and experts, I came away convinced that any “solutions” — in quotes — will require the concentrated, enlightened efforts of many people in our schools. Educators, parents, students all pulling on the same oar.

One resource I came back to, again and again, was the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program. I don’t have enough experience to fully weigh one bully-prevention program against another. There are many options available; I can’t say what’s best. I’d guess that each community has its own needs and resources. That said; I was very impressed with everything I read about that program, a view that was shared by many of the educators I interviewed.

I’d also like to plug a great book:

Written by Barbara Coloroso, this book was an invaluable resource that helped guide and enlighten my thinking.

In answer to Ann’s questions: The latest word is that Bystander will be released in paperback in Fall, 2011. I’m told that there will be a Teaching Guide available. Yes, I do school visits. Since I live in the Albany, New York, area, any trips that require serious travel (read: an overnight stay) necessitates more than one day’s worth of visits for such a trip to be possible. What works best is when different schools in a district cooperate and provide 2-4 different full-day school visits. Otherwise, it’s just impossible for me to justify a one-day jaunt to some far-flung locale.

Thanks, Ann, for your incredibly kind letter. It sounds to me like you are doing all the right things. Again, it takes a village.

You know, there was a point in an early draft of the book when I compared a bully to a terrorist. I pulled that out, fearing it might be a little over-cooked, but I do still think it’s an apt analogy. I believe that bullying, like other forms of terrorism, can never be fully eradicated. These social dynamics will always go on — but that is no excuse for failing to confront them whenever and wherever they occur. What we need is vigilance, increased awareness, and widespread, dedicated cooperation from a variety of sources to help limit the very real dangers. It’s like any criminal behavior: we must police it. Bullying is not a problem that can be completely “solved” or eliminated. But I do believe we can make real, tangible progress — and one by one, from place to place, positively effect change in the lives of countless young people.

That said, my book is a novel, a story, not a recipe for success. My hope has always been that it would be, in addition to a good reading experience, a strong jumping off point for discussion in the classroom. There’s enough clues in there, from the enlightened responses of some teachers in the book, to the mother’s concern and commitment, to the subtle changes in individual characters, to suggest some of the possible responses that are, I think, necessary if we hope to turn things around.

I was recently interviewed on this topic at boylit.com. Click here if you’re not sick of me already.

My best to you.

JP

Weekend Music Video: Richard Manuel, Remembered

“For if I live again, these hopes will never die
I can feel you standing there
But I don’t see you anywhere.”

It was one of the world’s great bands, filled with five extraordinary musicians melting into one: Robbie Robertson, Rick Danko, Levon Helm, Garth Hudson, and Richard Manuel. I am referring, of course, to The Band. Of them all, I count Richard Manuel as my favorite.

There was an integrity and vulnerability in his voice that could not be denied. Robbie Robertson described it this way: “There’s a certain element of pain in there — you didn’t know if he was trying to reach the note or he was just a guy with a heart that had been hurt.”

Plagued throughout much of his life with alcohol and drug addictions, Richard Manuel contributed songs with diminishing frequency as time passed. He hanged himself at age 40 on March 4, 1986, in a Quality Inn hotel room.  Had he lived, Richard would have turned 67 this past April 3nd. But those of us with ears to hear can still feel him standing there. That lonesome falsetto, the emotion quavering and yet powerful, his haunted, hunted spirit. It was all there when he sang.

Please watch this brief tribute, featuring a sublime live take of “Whispering Pines.” It will do your soul good. Interview comments from Robbie Robertson, Levon Helm, Rick Danko, and Eric Clapton. By the way, that’s Garth Hudson in the hat on keyboards at the end of the clip.

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WHISPERING PINES — music & lyrics by Richard Manuel, Robbie Robertson

If you find me in a gloom, or catch me in a dream
Inside my lonely room there is no in between
Whispering pines, rising of the tide
If only one star shines
That’s just enough to get inside

I will wait until it all goes ’round
With you in sight the lost are found
Foghorn through the night, calling out to sea
Protect my only light, ’cause she once belonged to me

Let the waves rush in, let the seagulls cry
For if I live again, these hopes will never die
I can feel you standing there
But I don’t see you anywhere

Standing by the well, wishing for the rains
Reaching for the clouds, for nothing else remains
Drifting in a daze, when evening will be done
Try looking through a haze
At an empty house, in the cold, cold sun

I will wait until it all goes round
With you in sight. the lost are found

Empire State Book Festival: April 9-10

It’s coming to Albany and — who knows! — maybe it will be fun. I know I’ll be there, signing books (1:45 – 2:45) and participating in  a Panel Discussion, “Get Real,” along with Jan Cheripko, Daphne Grab, Todd Strasser, and Terry Trueman. It’s scheduled for 12:45 – 1:30. According to the Program Guide, this is what we’ll be talking about:

If you are a fan of teen fiction or want to write for young adults, especially books that deal with real issues faced by today’s youth, then you’ll want to listen to our stellar panel of renowned writers of realistic young adult fiction speak about the genre and why they write for this age group. You will be able to hear several approaches to the creation of a YA novel.

The whole enchilada is FREE and anybody can get past the burly bouncers at the front door. Just smile and say you love books.

Seriously, there’s a bazillion programs, exhibitions, children’s activities, and authors up the wazoo (children’s, adult, and otherwise!), including: Joseph Bruchac, Zetta Elliott, Jessica Loy, Eric Luper, Jeff Mack, Gregory Maguire, Coleen Murtagh Paratore, Hudson Talbott, and a long, long, long list more.

Click here for a FREE PROGRAM GUIDE and all your wildest dreams will come true.

Cyberbullying in BYSTANDER: An Excerpt

As I dug deeper into my research for Bystander, a bully-themed novel set in a middle school, I realized that I could write a hundred different stories on the subject. There are so many manifestations, so many different approaches to the issue, so many stories to tell. For my immediate purposes, I decided to focus primarily on boy characters. And for the most part, I did not address cyberbullying in a major way, though I fully realized it was a topic of vital importance for children today.

Just about every educator told me the same thing, in the same words: “Girls are worse.”

That’s why I made sure that one character in the book, Mary O’Malley, was directly touched by cyberbullying. She witnesses it, participates in it, feels uncomfortable with it, and is forced to make some difficult choices. In terms of character arc, Mary gradually moves from darkness into light. Or as she tells Eric late in the book, chapter 25 [misfits], while they sit together (and alone) in the lunch room:

“I’m done worrying about what people like Alexis Brown think of me.”

“When did you get so smart?” Eric asked.

Mary shrugged. “I had to do a lot of dumb things first. After a while, I decided to try a different approach.”

“How’s it working out for you so far?”

“The food’s better,” Mary said, twisting open one of Eric’s Oreos. She turned serious. “Do you know what Mr. Scofield told me? He said not to listen when people say bad things about me. He said, ‘You know, Miss O’Malley, it says more about who they are than it does about you.'”

Here’s an excerpt from an earlier scene in chapter 16 [Mary], when Mary is hanging out with Eric Hayes. They are together at a dog park with Ginger, a Golden Retriever:

It was Eric’s first time alone with Mary. Of course, not counting Ginger’s company. The dog somehow made it easier, gave them a third thing, something outside of themselves that they could share. Mary found an old tennis ball, hurled it across the field. Ginger took off like a rocket, proudly retrieving it. Just an animal, doing what came naturally. They played that game for a long while, Eric and Mary taking turns throwing the ball, Ginger tireless and impatient.

A few times Mary’s cell phone sounded. She’d flip it open, read a text message, flip it closed.

At a certain point she stopped talking.

“You’re frowning,” Eric noted. “Is something the matter?”

Mary shook her head. But a moment later she pulled out her cell, punched a few buttons, and handed it to Eric. “Here, look at this.”

There was a photograph of a girl’s thick body. She wore shorts and a midriff-baring shirt, with the head of a pig Photoshopped onto it. “Who’s that supposed to be?” Eric asked.

“That’s Chantel Williams, you know her?”

“Sort of, we’re in a couple of classes together.”

“Well, everybody is really mad at her –“

“Everybody?”

“Okay, not everybody,” Mary replied, conceding the point. “It’s mostly Chrissie and Alexis. They want me to come over, because they want to get her back.”

Eric didn’t know Chantel well. She seemed okay. “What did she do?”

“Flirted with the wrong guy, according to Alexis.” After a pause, Mary confessed, “I know, you don’t have to say anything. It’s all so stupid.”

“What are they going to do?”

Ginger dropped the ball at Eric’s feet, then plopped to the ground herself, exhausted. He picked the ball up and threw it. Ginger watched it sail through the air, but did not otherwise stir.

“Go on, go get it!” Eric urged.

Ginger rested her chin on the cool earth. She wasn’t going anywhere. The ball could stay lost forever.

It was time to go. Eric reattached Ginger’s leash and gave a tug. He reminded Mary that she still hadn’t answered his question.

Mary sighed, shrugged, rearranged a loose strand of hair. “Something mean,” she said, eyes narrowing. “They are talking about maybe some fake Web page. Alexis has a new iMac in her room. They want me to help. I’m good with computers.”

“You’ve done stuff like that before?”

Mary looked away, nodded. “A little bit.”

One last note about some of the things I was trying to achieve here. You read in the first excerpt the reference to Mr. Scofield, an English teacher. He is a minor but recurring presence in the book, an intelligent, capable teacher who senses what’s going on and tries, in a limited way, to council and assist. The line that Mary attributes to him — “You know, Miss O’Malley, it says more about who they are than it does about you” — came to me directly from a middle school English teacher, my friend Matt Ball. He told me that’s what he sometimes said to his students, if he saw they were having a tough time. I informed Matt that I was going to use it for the book I was writing. Matt told me to be his guest. So that’s how that little piece of advice got into Bystander.

File under: I’m not making this stuff up.